Falling down an abyss/Falling apart in to a milli pieces

Which one sounds better? I think I'm doing both. You wanna know why?

SCHOOL:
I am so confused about school next year... you don't even know. In 7th grade when I was at Clementia, or whatever I called it, I was seriously thinking of going gothic or emo, I really hated it there, and I was really depressed, well not really cuz I didn't have thoughts of suicide, but I was desperate enough to move across the country away from my 2 best friends and my other friends, and I have really GREAT friends. I still would rather move then go to that school. I am just so confused. And I want to go to the highschool in Awesometown, but it has a lot of druggies, and usually the innocent kids turn bad, and I'm one of the innocent ones... UGH! I just really really don't know anymore! I really just wanna crawl in a hole! I'm starting to get depressed again, and I don't like it! UGH!

BOYS:
1. Yesterday, I was walking around Awesometown with Brenda, and it was raining... but anywho, we walked by the library and saw Matt there, so Brenda texted him and was like "we should hang, or are you bbysitting your bro?" and so he was like no I'm at the library with Alonzo" so we went to the library and I looked like CRAP. But anyways, it wasn't actually awkward. And after we got home, I was REALLY confused and pissed and I really don't get why Matt ended it the way he did. I mean without giving us a chance at all. We didn't even go on ONE date. It pisses me off. Oh well, I just need to get over like 7% of him, then I'll be set.
2. I'm starting to fall for James again.... it's really bad, and I hope I'll be able to stop. I think I'm just boy deprived.... I need to have a crush on someone... I'm not used to not.... maybe I'm just a slutty ho. No actually I'm not, I'm a LOVE ADDICT LOVE ADDICT!!!


In other news, I AM a sugar addict, so I'm gonna try to not have sugar for 50 days! Well not candy, anyways, and gum does not count as candy. Well, if its sugar free, it doesn't, anyways.

LATER CHICA/CHICO,
janelle );

DAY 1 without candy