FEELS LIKE WE'RE BREAKIN' UP!

Blah... yeah you probably guessed it... Matt broke up with me on January 8th.... here's what I wrote down in my diary when I found out:
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Sat, Jan 9, 2010, 2:04 am
So, Matt broke up with me yesterday (which was the 8th at the time) at aprox. 6:03 pm. You wanna know something I find ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY funny about him? He's had sex but hasn't made out with anyone yet! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Except maybe his teddy bear! But oh! I forgot! He burned it! And put fire crackers in it! OMG! Sorry, I'm having a mental breakdown and I mean COME ON?! You can understand! I mean, I was happy and he had to fricken ruin my mood by breaking up with me! I mean, plus he did it through myspace! Fricken mother fricker! I'm okay.... don't worry, I assure you! I took tests, my mental health is competely normal! But I feel like my heart was ripped out and replaced by my furry green ball that goes boing! (I have this furry green ball that when you hit it on something it goes "boing!") I'm torn apart. And you wanna know something else? The song Break Your Little Heart by All Time Low was playing as I opened the message!
='( No I refuse to cry! I will NOT! I don't love Matt anymore! I think. I just like like him. UGH! Big green and purple balls! Brenda fricken fell fell asleep! WHAT THE HELL?! Ugh I'm so MAD and SAD and HEARTBROKEN! Love SUCKS! Oh well... I'm okay. OMG! MY eyes are sweating! FRICK!!! I didn't know that was gonna happen! OMGBZ! MOTHER FRICKER! I'M SO SAD and MAD! Well, I'm gonna go now because its 2:42 am!
Later Fools,
Jannelle
-Love sucks, but always comes around again!
|SCREW love in a deep dark hole!
-You know what I feel like doing? Digging a hole and dieing in it! Sounds fun, right?
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That's basically what I wrote! Pretty freakin amazing, right? Uh, yeah anywho, I'm ALMOST over him! I just haven't felt that free feeling yet, but I will soon, I just kinda like him 21% now. Reading back that entry, I don't even know. I mean I was so sad when I found out! My stomach did a flip! And my heart felt hollow! Last time I felt like that was when I really really liked this one guy in 6th grade and I never had a chance with him, so I was kinda depressed. I really HATE that feeling. I really like the free feeling after you get over someone or break up with someone you don't really like anymore though, its one of my favorite feelings! That and love! But you can't have love without heartbreak I suppose... oh well. The only person I've ever really been head over heels in love with is James. I mean, I loved Matt, and I loved Alonzo, but I REALLY was IN LOVE with James, I mean I had that feeling that like if he asked me to marry him I would say yes. And I was only 13.

James was my first boyfriend. And I met him at a summer church camp I went to. It was only a week long, but I really liked him, and he liked me too, so then Brenda hooked us up, and so we went out for a month, and then we decided it didn't work out, so we broke up. But I wasn't really sad about that, cuz well, I didnt want to be tied down at such a young age to someone I probably won't see till July 2010. I can't wait to see him! I hope I can go! And I hope he can too! He's 15 but our birthdays are both in November, just his is before mine, so he's like exactly a year older.

Okay well you heard those dramas. Now I'll tell you what I did on Saterday and Sunday.

On Saterday:
In the morning I was still sad about Matt breakin up with me, so I read the entry I wrote in my journal and started laughing hysterically and then that turned into crying hysterically... then Brenda and me walked to Muchas Gracias and we ate there and before we left we saw Alonzo's parents. It was REALLY funny! Then we walked to Fred Meyer, and I got new shoes. Their pink and grey vans... their pretty sexy.

Then we got picked up by my mom and we chilled at home for the rest of the night.

On Sunday:
We went to church and then after that my mom, older sis, Brenda, and me went to Costco. LOL Brenda and me went around and ate all the samples. They had burger samples that were DELICIOUS! Then we went home and took a 10 minute walk and then we chilled up in my room for a few hours, then we came downstairs and watched Galaxy Quest with my dad and Brenda then my mom came in later, then me and Brenda watched Ghost Whisperer. Then we went in my room and goofed off for a while then there was a spider, and I tried to kill it, but I failed pretty bad... I HATE SPIDERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then we went to sleep...

And Today:
I woke up and did laundry but I took Tiger with me, cuz I didn't want to go in our creepy basement alone... and now I'm posting this! And I think I'm almost completely over Matt! YAY!

k well later,
JANELLE